1. Stray cats
will not be fed.
2. Stray cats
will not be fed
anything except
dry cat food.
3. Stray cats
will not be fed
anything except
canned cat food.
4. Stray cats
will not be fed anything
except canned
cat food, yummy treats
and leftover fish
scraps.
5. Stray cats
will not be encouraged
to make this house
their permanent residence.
6. Stray cats
will not be petted,
played with or
picked up and
cuddled unnecessarily.
7. Stray cats
that are petted,
played with, picked
up
and cuddled will
absolutely
not be given a
name.
8. Stray cats
with or without a name
will not be allowed
inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats
will not be allowed inside
the house except
at certain times.
10. Stray cats
will not be allowed
inside the house
except on days ending in y.
11. Stray cats
allowed inside will
not be permitted
to jump up on or sharpen
their claws on
the furniture.
12. Stray cats
will not be permitted
to jump up on,
or sharpen claws on
the really good
furniture.
13. Stray cats
will be permitted on
all furniture
but must sharpen claws on
new $114.99 sisal-rope
cat-scratching post
with three perches.
14. Stray cats
will answer the
call of nature
outdoors in the sand.
15. Stray cats
will answer the
call of nature
in the three-piece, high-impact
plastic tray filled
with Fresh n Sweet kitty litter.
16. Stray cats
will answer the
call of nature
in the hooded litter pan
with a three-panel
privacy screen
and plenty of
head room.
17. Stray cats
will sleep outside.
18. Stray cats
will sleep in the garage.
19. Stray cats
will sleep in the house.
20. Stray cats
will sleep in a
cardboard box
lined with an old blanket.
21. Stray cats
will sleep in the special
Kitty-Komfort-Bed
with non-allergenic
lambs wool pillow.
22. Stray cats
will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
23. Stray cats
will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
24. Stray cats
will not be allowed to sleep in our bed
under the covers.
25. Stray cats
will not be allowed to sleep in our bed
under the covers
except at the foot.
26. Stray cats
will not play on the desk.
27. Stray cats
will not play onthe desk
near the computer.
28. Stray cats are
forbidden to walk on the
computer keyboard
on the desk when the
human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier
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USING IT.
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